My husband and I have often discussed the fact that it seems “normal” for every household to have one of everything. Even things that are rarely (if ever) used, or are used once. The concept of lending or borrowing items is offensive to some people, either because they don’t want to part with their belongings or because they are afraid they will damage someone else’s. Trust is a huge factor. Either way, the amount of money spent on things that are temporary or rarely used, is astounding. And unnecessary. But in a society where neighbors don’t always know their neighbors names, let alone feel comfortable sharing assets, it is commonplace.
Now, while it might be commonplace, I struggle with the idea of buying everything, especially if it is full price. When I became a stay-at-home-wife, and promptly found out that our son was on the way, the reality that I was not contributing financially – and wouldn’t be for some time – really hit home. And it was now my job to keep me home by saving us money… (Okay, that last part wasn’t really reality, it was my self-forced interpretation of reality…)
I’m a HUGE fan of consignment shops and Goodwill. But one of the biggest blessings that I have come to appreciate is sharing. Especially in the form of Hand-me-downs and Hand-me-ups!
When our son was born, we were living in a 5th wheel trailer. We didn’t have a lot of room for our day-to-day belongings, let alone storing things as our son outgrew them. I still hung on to what seemed like a TON of stuff. After my daughter was born and we had even more to store, it felt overwhelming. Until I made a friend with a son who was younger and whose mom shared the same tastes in children’s clothing. And away much of it went. And as fast as things went out, things came in…
My husband came home from work one day with his whole car full of trash bags. Each of them was filled to the brim with Baby Girl clothes! Oh my word! What a blessing! There were pajamas and outfits and socks and bathing suits and shoes (SO many bathing suits and shoes!). There were jackets and sweaters and pants and everything imaginable. It was pretty much official, we wouldn’t have to shop for our girl until she was 2. Oh, and I forgot to mention the dresses! So many dresses!
Some months later, another similar delivery came home with my husband, from the same generous lady at his work. Wow! This time, there was clothing up through 4T!
One of the coolest things about these generous gifts was that my little girl isn’t the only one to get to enjoy them. No, I’m not talking about the girls who had them first… You see, I have a friend with a daughter who is my son’s age. And instead of putting all of these clothes in the closet, and that little girl’s family having to buy clothes for the next few years, we started hand-me-up-ing. Everything that would fit my little lady in the VERY near future stayed at our house, and what fit our beautiful little friend went to her house. My great friend and I had so much fun sorting through all of the bags of clothing – and just in time for winter. It was a blessing. From one family to two.
Around the same time, another friend was expecting a baby girl. As I was putting clothing aside from my little girl as she outgrew it, it began to be sorted and delivered to that second family as well. The condition? That if/when they finished with them, they try to return them to us. What resulted was phenomenal. The second family (the one with this new little baby) started giving me hand-me-downs that were given to them but that they didn’t have a need/want for… and not just ones that came from me.
A family who had twins is borrowing our two jumperoos. They are HUGE!!! I hate storing baby gear, but you lose SO much money selling them and buying them again, so instead of hogging my closet space, they are being stored temporarily in someone’s playroom.
Here, months later, again… I get an email from a friend on the East Coast, asking for any unneeded baby girl items for a friend of hers who is expecting and doesn’t have anything. As I went through what I have in my closet, I found bags ready to go to Goodwill and enough 0-12 month items to give another family a great start. I will eventually get my baby girl’s hand-me-downs back and they will go to our next girl (if there is one) or someone who beats us to it.
And… another family we adore is having a baby boy, so the Boppys & what baby boy gear I still have are getting packed up to be borrowed at their house soon.
Why am I telling you how much I loan stuff out? Is it because I’m so proud of it? NO! It’s because I am THRILLED with how much money we are all saving. And how much closer we are, learning to trust each other and sharing things that end up being so close to our hearts and our little ones. And I want to encourage my mommy friends to be open-minded in their “hoarding.” I definitely want more children. But what isn’t in use in our house is just collecting dust instead of blessing people. And life isn’t about stuff.
One of our neighbors moved recently and decided to really purge their belongings as they packed. My daughter got a princess piano, the kids have a little table and chairs now, we were able to give a great toy kitchen to one family and a princess rug to another. As they struggled to get the last of their things to fit into the Uhaul, they ended up leaving behind an almost new corner desk – right in front of our garage door. I had been struggling with the desire to purchase a desk, but the strong desire to not spend money on it right now. And God provided, through our neighbor’s generosity.
